Horsing Around

Helena’s very “into” horses right now.  When we last visited our family, we stayed with a family member who has horses, donkeys, cats and dogs.  Helena was thrilled.  So anytime I can get her near horses, or even point them out on the street, I do.  Ironically, she didn’t want to get as close to them as her older sister did.

 

The horse guards are the queen’s personal body guards.  Their role is more ceremonial now and the ceremony was a bit bumpy (more on that later).  I felt sorry for this guy who had to sit on this horse for a few hours at a time, constantly reining it in so the tourists could pet the horse and take their photos.

Behind the guard posts is a small building leading to an immense courtyard.  The kids enjoyed playing horses in here for a few minutes before we went into the expensive and tiny museum.

As always, putting on costumes was a hit.

I never thought they’d try these helmets, but they loved them.

While perusing the gift shop and thinking up reasons why I wasn’t going to buy yet another cheap plastic toy for the girls, the attendant said that the daily inspection ceremony was taking place in four minutes.  Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth (sorry, that one even hurt to type), I swept the kids out of the shop and into the smaller courtyard.

In a terrifically “me” type of situation, I figured out where the ceremony would take place and chose the exact perfect spot to watch it from the back.  Grrrr.  “Oh well.  As long as the horse doesn’t poo,” I figured, “the kids won’t know what they’re missing.”

First, the two mounted guards barely missed mowing down a few tourists en route to their spots lined up outside the guard posts.  Then this group of impressively dressed guards came out and formed a line.  Their commander shouted a few commands and, like something out of a Simpson’s cartoon, everyone but the second guy in line shuffled forward.  His look of abject terror was either comically horrifying or horrifically comical.  I can’t decide which.  He shuffled into line as unobtrusively as the one dork that is out of line during a giant public ceremony can—which is to say ridiculously obtrusively.  Poor kid.

Then the dude in charge (Commander?--I dunno, I'm not a military girl) did the inspection.  He took his time, looking at each soldier and muttering comments to a second in command.

The men had to do a little walking maneuver that I’m sure was meant to impress with a sort of clicking-of-the-heels stomp at the end.  However, you’ll notice that their boots come up above their knees, so walking in general is pretty awkward and amusing to watch.  Add a contrived step to this and it just looks beyond graceless.

After the two guards on horses dismounted, they did a strange sword exercise that was clearly an “Okay, whoever gets their sword into the scabbard first waits until the other guy catches up” move.  It was again, somewhat stilted and uncoordinated.  But, being limited by their gear (including the boots and horses), I figure their ceremonies can’t be as coordinated and impressive as the changing of the guard.

But, hey, my kids got to see horses, so I’m calling it a win.