Technology

Mom?  Dad?  How did you do all those trips with us kids without IPods and laptop computers with DVD players?

On any train, I plug the kids into some great podcast nursery rhymes, songs and stories I found.  Or I let Olivia do Paint on my laptop.  If they’re particularly good, or if I’m particularly burned out, I let them watch a movie on the laptop.

Who said valium was Mommy’s Little Helper?  Turns out the microchip is Mommy’s Little Helper.

Crazyloo

This wavy wall is the line of stalls in the women’s room of the Wetherspoon chain pub at Baker Street.  I have no idea what the building used to be, but clearly these weren’t designed as pub crappers.

I particularly love the arched windows and continued wavy motif in the sink area.

Note: It’s hard to take photos of ladies’ rooms without feeling creepy.

Memories, La, La, La-la, La, La, Laaaaaaaa…

I took this photo for two reasons. 

First, check out the GIANT paella being made in the foreground.  I immediately wished I hadn’t had whatever crappy dinner we’d just had—it looked wonderful!  Second, I have a photo of myself under the archway in the back right corner.  It’s a special photo for me because that was a really pivotal summer in my life and I’m not the one to bar-hop.  It’s one of the few nights in my life that I really enjoyed myself at a bar.  I liked to go out dancing or to a nice dinner, but I’ve never had much patience for sitting around a bar, slowly sipping drinks.

Street Performer?

In historic Covent Garden, you see all types of street performers.  They are professional performers who audition for the opportunity to work there.  They work a set schedule, rotating so that everyone gets their fair share of good time slots and bad time slots.

Just outside their jurisdiction, you see guys like this.

He’s playing a traffic cone.  He’s humming into it and collecting money.  As far as I can tell, all he needs to do is carry a tune and give a thumbs up, periodically, to people who throw him cash.

Not how I’d choose to earn a living, but interesting, nonetheless.

Why Don't We Have These At Home?

I promised the kids a treat one night, so we hit the Marks and Spencer.  I bought these terrific mini-mousse cups, with tiny plastic spoon included, for a pound each.

I had a heavenly lemon curd chemical bomb.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s the wisest food choice I’ve made, but for a quick treat for the kids, it was spot-on perfect!  Are you listening, U.S.-based food retailers?  We need these back home.

And for everyone else, for when they arrive on our soil: you’re welcome.

What's in a Name?

The name Olivia is in the top 10 list of baby names.  It has been up there for the last 10 years or so.  As a result, we run into a lot of Olivia’s.

To date, I have yet to meet another Helena.  So buying any trinket with the kids’ name on it is impossible unless it’s a custom-made thing.  We’ve met several Helen’s here, so for fun I looked at the names the English print on their kids’ toys.  Check out the list.

Gemma, Georgina?  Sure, I guess.  But still no Helena.

Zoo Trip

On what must have been the coldest day in recorded history, I brought the kids to the London Zoo.

Guy, the iconic gorilla sculpture--beloved of Londoners and immortalized in a song by my favorite band.

I love the tunnel decorations.

The giraffes were a big hit with all three girls.

The rainforest exhibit felt like one of the first “cage-free experience” exhibits created.  It was dank and humid, which I love, with vines running overhead that the monkeys would occasionally scurry across, if you were lucky.  “Don’t stand directly under the monkey,” the zoo volunteer said.  It took the girls a few minutes to figure out why.

After paying $70 to get the three of us in, there’s no way I’m throwing down another quid for the ride-on toys!  They played anyway.

Olivia was chosen to be a penguin for the penguin demonstration lecture.

She got to put on a costume and shake her head happily.  When she had to put on the beak, I was afraid she'd freak out.

She was thrilled.  Shows me what I know, huh?

After the penguins, I relented and spent three pounds letting the kids slide down the bouncy castle slide four times each.

At the end of the visit, I asked the girls what their favorite part of the zoo trip was.  Olivia said she liked being a penguin.  Helena said she liked when she lost her tummy on the big slide.  I should’ve just found a bouncy castle place!

The old penguin exhibit is eerily empty.

These weird chickens were roaming around the picnic areas.

Why would a kid-oriented place like a zoo have those “put your head here” photo op spots without stools behind them?  Curious.

The Galapagos Tortoises were great—the kids loved playing with this sculpture.

Side Trips to Greece, Egypt and Italy

I took the kids to the British Museum to see the Egyptian and Greek artifacts.  With as horribly crowded as the Tower of London had been, I imagined we might not be able to stay long.  The kids’ tolerance for museums is directly proportional to the number of times they get jostled and shoved by strangers in crowds.

When we arrived, we tried to go directly to the Rosetta Stone.  However, there is a lovely gift shop across from it.  I learned long ago that buying the kids their “souvenir” early in the visit prevents them from asking for things all day long. 

With our detour completed, we headed into the crowded Rosetta Stone exhibit.

After the requisite man-handling, the girls got up front to take a look.   Then we went through the Egyptian galleries to the Elgin/Parthenon marbles.

Once again, the brilliance of the “buy their trinket early” strategy was evident.  I was able to stay in the Elgin galleries for half an hour.  I read the descriptions, contemplated the carvings and took photos to my heart’s content.  The kids were playing with their new pink sparkly journal and teddy bear.  Sure, they didn’t look at the artifacts, but after every museum we’ve seen and all the boring things I’ve dragged them to, I was okay with it.

The Egyptian galleries were a hit, as expected.  The girls are budding Egyptologists.

I loved the Greek sculptures.  They were more interesting in playing at that point.

I had forgotten how huge the Assyrian sculptures are.

This one still shows the guards’ playing board for a dice game.

 

The new interior boasts a gigantic, swirling spiral staircase that leads you up and down from wing to wing.  It feels incredibly space-inefficient and stylistically jumbled, jammed up against the neoclassical facade of the olde museume parts, but so marches progress, no?

 

To my delight, even the floors were full of fossils.

Cardio from 20 Years Ago

When I studied in London, our dorm was equidistant from three tub stops.  Depending on your station of origin, you could get home via Euston, King’s Cross/St. Pancras or Russell Square.  The latter had this great series of spiral staircases leading up to the street level.

To avoid being crammed into crowded elevators with 20-odd total strangers, we used to sprint up the steps.

This time, I elected to be crammed into the crowded elevators with 18-odd total strangers and my two daughters.

A lot changes after 20 years.

Keep Calm and Make Bank on Slogans

Everywhere you go in the U.K. now, you see the World War II era “Keep Calm and Carry On” slogan.  It’s seen in its original form and also in cheeky iterations “Now Panic and Freak Out,” “Keep Calm and Boogie Down,” etc..

This poster was, uh, posted, outside the tube stop closest to our hotel.  I really like it.  It’s never occurred to me that the queen might have a nickname.  I can’t imagine anyone calling her Lizzie.

But now I hope someone does.

Chipotle! Uh, Whoops.

Two weeks ago, while on a bus tour of London, we passed a Chipotle.  The kids were beside themselves with excitement, as was I.  We’ve had so many expensive, mediocre meals (of necessity) on this trip.  I was looking forward to an expensive, mediocre meal that would be familiar and pleasant for the girls and I.

Long story short.  It’s not the same as at home.  The tortillas are dry.  The beans are too soupy.  The barbacoa is different and the mild salsa isn’t chunky, it’s blended—for shame, for shame.

The chicken, however, is the same.  But that means it's dry and not worth eating (sorry, Chipotle, I really think you miss the boat on chicken).

The girls did eat dinner without much complaint, which was a nice surprise.  However, my dreams of a few nights of Chipotle/easy dinners were shattered.  We didn’t go back a second time.

Frozen in Time

As we passed the entrance to the Oxford Circus tube line, I thought I was caught in my first-ever flash mob experience.  The steps were clogged with unmoving commuters.  Everyone was frozen in place.

A photo doesn't do it justice, but these people were all standing, silently, for at least three minutes.  They were a zombie mob of commuters (without the Romero-esque groaning).

Then I remembered seeing a posting about there being huge delays at Oxford Circus tube station.  I’m not sure what the cause of the delays was, but everyone was quietly patient, waiting for their turn to walk down the steps.  After a minute, the people on the stairs shuffled down, layer by layer, step by step.  After 20 seconds of movement and the freeze began again.  Such a weird slice of urban London life.

I snapped a photo and headed to the bus.

Liberty of London--I Tried to Love You

I’d never ridden a bus down Oxford Street to gawk at all the flagship stores.

Frankly, with our recent de-accession of stuff, the thought of all that buying made me queasy.  But the streets were decorated so lovingly with flags and bunting that I got in the mood.

I took the girls into the venerable Liberty store—hoping to find a souvenir printed with one of their iconic flower prints.  As with the Galleries Lafayette in Paris, you feel the age of the place right when you walk in.

Even the elevator feels ancient.

We spent a good half-hour walking through the displays and looking at some wonderful merchandise.

But nothing caught my eye.  I did contemplate buying a pair of Nike’s printed with a gorgeous flower print, but Nike’s pinch my toes too much.

I left, as poor as I arrived, surprised to be without a tangible souvenir.

Ah, well, it’s good to not jump too quickly back onto the merry-go-round of consumer spending, methinks.

Ah, the Irony...

I took this photo because the actor is a character in "Snatch," one of my favorite movies.

Seeing Bullet Tooth Tony plastered on a side of a London bus cracks me up.

I tried for about 20 minutes to explain the meaning of the slogan to the girls, but they couldn’t get it.  From then on, though, they thought they did.  Anytime they saw a bus with the ad, they’d point it out and read the slogan, completely misinterpreting it.

Ah, well, at least they’re reading.

Time

I kept asking the kids to stop posing in front of Big Ben.

But they wouldn’t. 

The traffic was too loud for me to hear what they were saying, so I snapped a few photos, then walked up to them to ask why they were being so silly.  It turns out they were trying to make their arms into clock arms.  They were being Big Ben.

I should have guessed.

Horsing Around

Helena’s very “into” horses right now.  When we last visited our family, we stayed with a family member who has horses, donkeys, cats and dogs.  Helena was thrilled.  So anytime I can get her near horses, or even point them out on the street, I do.  Ironically, she didn’t want to get as close to them as her older sister did.

 

The horse guards are the queen’s personal body guards.  Their role is more ceremonial now and the ceremony was a bit bumpy (more on that later).  I felt sorry for this guy who had to sit on this horse for a few hours at a time, constantly reining it in so the tourists could pet the horse and take their photos.

Behind the guard posts is a small building leading to an immense courtyard.  The kids enjoyed playing horses in here for a few minutes before we went into the expensive and tiny museum.

As always, putting on costumes was a hit.

I never thought they’d try these helmets, but they loved them.

While perusing the gift shop and thinking up reasons why I wasn’t going to buy yet another cheap plastic toy for the girls, the attendant said that the daily inspection ceremony was taking place in four minutes.  Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth (sorry, that one even hurt to type), I swept the kids out of the shop and into the smaller courtyard.

In a terrifically “me” type of situation, I figured out where the ceremony would take place and chose the exact perfect spot to watch it from the back.  Grrrr.  “Oh well.  As long as the horse doesn’t poo,” I figured, “the kids won’t know what they’re missing.”

First, the two mounted guards barely missed mowing down a few tourists en route to their spots lined up outside the guard posts.  Then this group of impressively dressed guards came out and formed a line.  Their commander shouted a few commands and, like something out of a Simpson’s cartoon, everyone but the second guy in line shuffled forward.  His look of abject terror was either comically horrifying or horrifically comical.  I can’t decide which.  He shuffled into line as unobtrusively as the one dork that is out of line during a giant public ceremony can—which is to say ridiculously obtrusively.  Poor kid.

Then the dude in charge (Commander?--I dunno, I'm not a military girl) did the inspection.  He took his time, looking at each soldier and muttering comments to a second in command.

The men had to do a little walking maneuver that I’m sure was meant to impress with a sort of clicking-of-the-heels stomp at the end.  However, you’ll notice that their boots come up above their knees, so walking in general is pretty awkward and amusing to watch.  Add a contrived step to this and it just looks beyond graceless.

After the two guards on horses dismounted, they did a strange sword exercise that was clearly an “Okay, whoever gets their sword into the scabbard first waits until the other guy catches up” move.  It was again, somewhat stilted and uncoordinated.  But, being limited by their gear (including the boots and horses), I figure their ceremonies can’t be as coordinated and impressive as the changing of the guard.

But, hey, my kids got to see horses, so I’m calling it a win.