Paralyzed by Perfume Shopping

I need some new perfume.

Right now I wear one of two perfumes my husband bought me from his former company or some Bath and Body Works Spray whooziwhatzis that matches whatever bath gel I got at the last 80% off yellow rubber duck sale.

Buying perfume intimidates the crap out of me.  It's almost as scary as using a public bus (I should blog about that soon).  The problem of perfume shopping is twofold: we're picky and I have funky skin.

Let's attack this one on two fronts.

Problem A: Pickiness
I don't like most perfumes, it seems.  I like flower scents in principle and for candles, but I find they're too old-lady smelling on me.  I'm fond of peony, lavender and verbena scents in my house, but when I put them on my body, I feel like Bea Arthur.

I like woodsy, earthy scents--but only in yoga studios.

I like spicy, cinnamon/clove/anise scents--but only for soap.

Get it?  I'm picky.  Hey, I admit it, but if we're pointing fingers--Bryan's even worse.

Problem B: Funky skin.
Our former Parisian exchange student, Emmanuelle, introduced me to Hermes' Eau d'Orange Vert.  I loved it then and love it now.  When she walked through a room, she'd leave a fresh, citrusy verbena scent behind her that made you float off your toes like Pepe le Pew chasing that black cat with the stripe painted on her back.  It was terrific.

So of course I tried it on myself and the top note of citrus is amazing.  However, after two minutes, the middle notes take over and start getting icky.  The base notes of this perfume, when spritzed on my skin, could be described more as basement notes.  Dank, humid, stagnant basement notes.

Okay, okay, it's not truly that bad.  But the scent left on my skin after five minutes is a flowery melange that just smells tired, old and unpleasant.

So why don't I take advantage of the fact that I'm living in Paris now?  It's the capital of perfume (well, Grasse in the south is, but you can't get the selection there that you can here)! 

A few reasons:
First, I don't know how to describe what I like because I'm too picky.
Second, you're only supposed to smell about three or four scents in any sitting because your olfactory sense is easily deadened.
Therefore, third, I'd need to pick one to try, spritz up and then leave the shop.  I want to know how it sits on my skin for hours after I put it on.

Truthfully, the appropriate process would be to go to a perfume shop and sample something new every day.  I'd need to take notes on how it smells on my skin after 30 minutes.  Then after two or three weeks of trial-and-error, I'd find the perfect scent.

But, I'll probably just end up going in and sniffing some sticks, spritzing a little and choosing something that has an interesting bottle and doesn't cost too much or too little.  *sigh*

At least I won't smell like old lady, duck sale or my husband's former job.