Kids--The Way to Win Friends and Influence People

How to start a blog on the topic of the French rudeness?

Option 1: Don't tell me the French are rude.
Option 2: I know the French are rude, but so are we.
Option 3: You'd be rude too, if you lived here.
Option 4: We're rude too, ya know?

I see that I progressively more defensive about it since I have as many lovely French friends as I have rude American ones.  It's a cultural thing that I understand slightly better each time I come here, but it can't be easily explained.

So let me explain it.

As far as my limited experience and readings lead me to conclude, the French are by nature extrememly private people.  They don't pry in each others' business, they don't question, they don't assume and they don't ask/don't tell.  To show respect, they are cordial and to-the-point, wasting no one's time with anything but the necessities, as they see it.

The necessities of polite conversation are the inviolable quad of:
1. Bon jour, X--always said upon entering any business or before starting any verbal encounter
2. S'il vous plait, X--when asking for anything
3. Merci, X--when they have done anything, large or small, for you
4. Au revoir, X--when leaving anything, anywhere, anytime

The X stands for Monsieur, Madame, Mademoiselle, Messeiurs, Mesdames or Mesdemoiselles.  ALWAYS add the title.  It signifies that you are going to have a civilized conversation.  To walk into a shop without speaking is tantamount to dropping a deuce right there on the welcome mat.

Well, sorta.

French children learn this early and they learn it often.  The French are very hung up on not letting their children be seen as poorly raised.  Your kid could knock over a wine bottle in a shop, but if he said "Bon jour, Madame" when he entered, it wouldn't be so much a problem.

Ergo, my children have become a secret weapon in the "make France agreeable" war.  They're the second most powerful tool in my arsenal.  The first is the fact that I speak French without a terribly strong American accent.  That opens a lot of doors.  But making my kids say their "Bon jour, Madame" and "Merci, au revoir, Monsieur" in every possible situation positively kicks the doors down for us.

It doesn't hurt that my kids are cute.  I give you Exhibit A:

and Exhibit B:

But beyond cute, it's music to a Parisian's ears to hear not only their culturally-mandated politeness, but a clear attempt to learn the language and to speak it properly.  As an American, I fight all the prejudices that we've rightfully and not-so-rightfully been shackled with--we're fat, loud, rich and rude.  I realize I overcompensate, but I figure I'm in a good place to earn some points with whomever I'm talking to--points that might be spent by the next American they meet who doesn't speak any French, but is trying.  Maybe somewhere I lodge a grain of "well, not all Americans are so awful" in their subconscious with each "Bon jour, Madame" that Olivia and Helena say.

And now, to conclude, thank you, gentlemen and ladies.